*sigh*

2008 hasn’t been here long but my life has already been upside down in the first month. I am not quite sure how I can cope with the remaining 11 months…

I went away last month for a 4-week annual leave. The main destination of my holiday is Hong Kong. During my stay I have met someone who I like very much. In fact we have chatted online before so I know this person fairly before we met. Love is a very strange thing, some people spend days, weeks, months or even years to know it, but others can know it as quick as in the first sight.

I have a very strong feeling for this person and I believe things will work between us. So while I was still in Hong Kong in the last week of my holiday, I was thinking of moving back to Hong Kong for good. It is a big and tough decision, but to give up my life, my family, my job and my house in England to move back for this special one, I feel it is all worth it.

It has been nearly a week since I flew back to the UK, my emotion for this person has got stronger and stronger. I broke down in tears many times, the feeling of staying away from this person was awful, oh shit! I think I have fallen in love here.

In the last few days, I have been searching and looking for a job in Hong Kong. I have even registered to a recruitment agency online trying to find a job in Hong Kong. While I thought things would be alright, the worst news has hit my face. I chatted with this person online again, and now I have been confirmed that this person is still seeing a partner. I am gutted and totally destroyed. I feel like being abandoned. To make it even worse I was preparing to give up everything I have here for this person and it is now all over. I am not moving to anywhere now. I have been the biggest fool in the world!!

*sigh*

I mention this on my website is not because I want the world to know what this person has done to me, but I want to make a note in my life of what has happened to me. Something really bad happens to me that my world is just torn apart, I have no where to stand. My present feeling is like someone took me up so high then suddenly let go, I fall and keep falling to a no end ditch. I don’t know how long it will take me to recover from this, but to this person, ‘You gave me hope to move back to Hong Kong, but you also gave me a reason not to go back to Hong Kong anymore.’ I am totally lost…